Jill and the Books Talk

While in bed, a question out of nowhere was uttered by a tiny voice. "Akoh, what about your customers? They are sick, right?" Our 4-year old Miranda was concerned about my patients while I was away. And then over the weekend, I heard two tiny voices asking the same question during bedtime. Mira: "Akoh, what if you don’t go back to Manila? Can you just stay here?" Noah: "Akoh, can you not go back to Manila?" With a heavy heart I replied: “I have to go bac k and help my patients heal because they are sick. I promise to be home in November and December. Wait for me ok?” Each time I am about to leave my family behind , I think about the same question. And the answer has always been because God called me for a purpose. Many times I asked God to take me home permanently and even consulted my parents way back 2012 but God had other plans. Obedience to God gives me peace and a sense of fulfillment but I do miss my family terribly.  Praying that this pan...

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.   It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.   Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  Auntie Beth is the epitome of love. She has touched so many lives with her smile, words and actions. She would try her best to help anyone who is in need.  She always prioritizes her family. She would fight for her loved ones. Even in her deathbed, we would see her vital signs increasing whenever one of us would cry.  I still remember the first time I met her. She and Uncle Rudy were just dating back then in the early 1980’s. They brought me to SM Makati and she chose a yellow top and denim skirt for the four year old me. I felt so loved. She treated me and my brother Neil like her own. Whenever she would come home f...

While almost everyone else was binge watching K-drama over the lockdown, I was too busy working long hours, from 6am to 12 midnight. I didn't realize that I have allowed people to overstep the boundaries of my time. I would get frantic calls from anxious patients, caregivers and whoever needs me at an ungodly hour. I would do my best to help them calm down while I was crying inside my heart.  I was emotionally, mentally and physically burned out after 8 long months. I began to resent the internet (online meetings and webinars were too much!) yet oh so grateful for it because it kept me connected to the people I love and it enabled me to work while many have unfortunately lost their jobs. It was on my birthday weekend in November 2020 that I finally had precious time to spare after months of striking a balance between taking care of my patients, remotely working for my family's businesses, ministry, coping as much as I could (because I terribly missed my family) and keeping my s...

I was devastated when my Amah passed away while I was in the US in 2017. She couldn’t wait for me. I was just gone for I think 9 days. I had no courage to visit her grave for two years as the thought of it would render me paralyzed from pain and bawling like a baby.  A few nights ago, while I was putting my nephew Noah to sleep, he requested to see some photos: “Akoh there will be four chapters tonight. Mom and dad’s wedding, the reception, when I was born and when Tai Ma died.”  I repli ed: "Photos of Tai Ma’s death will make me cry Noah.”  To my astonishment, he lovingly said: “It’s ok Akoh, there is life everlasting in heaven because Jesus died for our sins to save us.”  I hugged him so tight. It took an innocent 6-year old to remind me that someday I will be reunited with my beloved Amah. Finally, I found the courage to visit and I was at peace.  As I was doing my quiet time tonight, I came across this passage:  He will wipe eve...

My eulogy to my grandmother, read by my younger brother in my absence. How do you bid someone, who has been a huge part of your existence, goodbye? In April this year, after Ammah was discharged from the hospital, she was never the same. She didn’t sound like herself over the phone, when a few days before, she was laughing with me during one of our conversations. It was then that I came face to face with reality that my Ammah’s overall health was fast deteriorating. She was depressed because she could no longer walk. She felt useless. I took the next flight home. I was so scared to lose her because I wasn’t ready.  When I arrived, the first thing I asked her was to share with me her Baulu recipe. You see, no one can match my Ammah’s Baulu. Now you might wonder why of all things, I asked for her recipe. Back then, I acted on impulse but in retrospect, I now realized that the recipe represented much more than food. It represented Ammah’s love for me, for Angkong and our ...

Some time before I turned 40 this year, I asked God how He would summarize the past 4 decades of my life and this Bible verse was impressed on me: "My cup runneth over..." - Psalm 23:5 I broke down in tears for indeed that was how my life was and how I felt at that moment. I couldn't find the words to describe my experiences and my feelings until the Holy Spirit reminded me of these four words. I went on and grabbed my journal in the middle of the night and scribbled my heart away: Confident in God’s grace and care, with joy I reflect I have a Shepherd. My greatest abundance is this: By faith I taste the goodness of God in all my enjoyments.  Though I have but little of this world, it is a green pasture. The Lord gives me peace and contentment in the mind, wherever the lot is. My consolations are the still waters where the Holy Spirit leads me,  whose streams flow from the Fountain of living waters. I feast at the Lord’s table, upon t...

My dearest Melissa, The Lord Jesus answered my prayers when you came into our lives. Thank you so much for  everything. Words are not enough to express how grateful I am to have a sister like you.  May God grant you the desires of your heart according to His good, pleasing and perfect will. May you always be in good health and may your days be filled with love, joy and peace. Happy happy birthday Mei-Mei! I love you! With my sister in law on their wedding day, July 16, 2011 at The Marriott Manila Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character 10  A wife of noble character  who can find?      She is worth far more than rubies. 11  Her husband  has full confidence in her      and lacks nothing of value. 12  She brings him good, not harm,      all the days of her life. 13  She selects wool and flax      and works with eager hands. 14  She i...

It's that time of the year when "taklesa questions and hirits" overflow. I therefore repost this note which I wrote way back December 2010 for the benefit of those people who utter and ask questions which no one can answer. For example: When are you getting married? My answer usually goes like this: "I honestly don't know. When God tells me when and whom i'm supposed to marry then I will personally announce it on Facebook and tag you." But in my mind I always say: "I have no idea and just in case, you're not invited to my wedding anyway so why bother asking?"  You see, I do have dreams of getting married and having a family of my own but I don't obsess about it. Even if I am called to be single for the rest of my life, at this point in time I could honestly say that I AM OK WITH THAT. For those having problems accepting that well you just have to suck it up ;-) Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love ...