Narcissistic Abuse is Real!

Have you been a victim of gaslighting and struggled with emotional whiplash? 

This photo was taken the day  I woke up after having 11 hours of deep sleep. It has been months since I’ve had a restful sleep like that. 

It was truly an awakening when I consulted a psychologist and was told to my face that I have been exhibiting symptoms of stress due to narcissistic abuse. 

It was early this year that God’s word specifically told me to let go of a friend because we no longer share the same values and I need to protect my circle from narcissistic abuse as well. 

But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate - Mark 6:11

It was a hard pill to swallow but I obeyed. With that came freedom.

The guilt of having to let go was a remnant of how my brain was wired to respond to a vulnerable narcissist. One who always plays a victim and gets furious when you set boundaries. It has taken its toll on my body by weakening my immune system and messing up with my cardio metabolic markers. 

God said if I wanted to be healed I have to surrender the resentment and feelings of betrayal. I need to learn to forgive myself for allowing that abuse for many years. To extend grace and to decide to forgive. It simply means cutting off and trusting that God will take care of that person.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean everything is okay. It simply means you’re giving up your right to hurt back. Not to deny the abuse but to seek healing from Jesus and decide to forgive even if the heart doesn’t feel like it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation and tolerating abuse if the other party isn’t willing to repent and allow true transformation by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

After all, God commanded us to love our enemies. And praying for them to come to repentance from a distance is love.

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