Whisper

I have been high strung lately. There were even times when I got so annoyed with little mistakes that I had to remove myself from a situation several times because I was sorely tempted to either whack someone with my humongous purse or shake somebody so hard in the hopes of making his/her cactus of a brain function.

I am preoccupied with one too many things and I cannot afford to have anything go wrong when it comes to my schedule, documents and stuff which may seem insignificant to others but irk the hell out of me when they are not organized or go on missing. But there are times when things do not go as smoothly as we'd like. Even if we don't welcome them, there will be delays, disappointments, changes and setbacks.

Last week alone, my PA drove me mad when she could not find my medical records and doctors' requests for my diagnostic procedures. I stormed off just to put distance between us so I don't say or do anything I would regret later on. Then there was the time when I walked out of a shop because the salesperson made me wait a long time then gave me the wrong items and I ended up late for my next appointment (He texted me several times that my orders have arrived and that he will have it ready for pick up - it did not happen at all). I no longer wish to tell my story about how my driver pisses me off whenever he gets pulled over (mind you, three times in a week!). But of course I had to keep my cool because he cannot be rattled and prematurely send us both home to heaven.

These series of unpleasant events reminded me of an incident which happened recently while I was touring with my dear friend Marlon in La Alhambra, Granada, Spain.

From the moment I woke up that fateful morning, nothing was right. I was hungry from being forced to be vegetarian during a 3-day conference, unable to find good food for 3 nights in a row plus the scorching heat wave that struck Andalucia. Then one of the straps of my jumpsuit came off just before I got out of the hotel room! Fortunately, the cleaning lady gave me a needle and thread. I was not top of my sewing class in Home Economics but I managed to mend it.

Marlon and I had an uneventful morning at the conference then off we went to have one of the best meals we've had in Spain at a Chinese buffet restaurant we accidentally found. Sated, we headed to La Alhambra for our tour. We were in high spirits until after we parked the car. We were given wrong directions and found ourselves trekking a rough narrow road lined with trees leading to nowhere under the heat of the Andalusian sun. My feet hurt, I was dehydrated and I felt like I could not go on any longer. So I halted and Marlon went a little further only to come back and tell me that it was a dead end! That's when I totally lost it and in my heart, gave up on Spain. I threw a fit in the middle of nowhere with only one witness - my dear friend Marlon. I screamed at the top of my lungs while retracing my steps. I remember saying: "I hate Spain!!! Spain is not for me! I want to go home! Arghhhh!!!" I knew that I should contain myself but I couldn't. I was close to tears from frustration and exhaustion. To make matters worse, my other strap came off (not the one that I already mended). Good thing Marlon thought about using his name plate to hold it together so never mind walking around the palace swarming with tourists bearing the name MARLON PELAYO on my upper back rather than touring the place half naked.

We finally found our way but we were already late. The tour went on, we had a lousy tour guide, the place was packed, it was so hot I could fry an egg on my head. I felt terrible. It did not do justice to the beauty surrounding me.

The tour was lengthy but we finally got a five minute break which we could only use to either pee or buy water. I wanted both but I had to choose one. So I went to empty my bladder and guess what? The freakin' strap came off again! I also had difficulty getting my zip up. On top of that, I was sweating like a roasted chicken trying to deal with my wardrobe malfunction. I swore I will get rid of it as soon as I get home. I cried out to God in dismay: "Jesus help me! I can't take it anymore!" And just like that I was able to fix the zipper and get out of the cubicle. I faced the mirror and suddenly there was a cool breeze. I breathed. Managed to calm down and thanked God. I rejoined our group.

As we continued the walking tour and entered the fortress, I thought about what happened and how I felt about Spain. I felt ungrateful. Again I prayed: "God remind me that this trip is Your gift." After I said this little prayer, we emerged from the dark walled section of the fortress into an open area on top of La Alhambra. What I saw made me catch my breath. The view was breathtaking. I wanted to weep as my entire face was caressed by a cool breeze. Suddenly I felt so much joy in my heart. It was as if God whispered to me at that moment reminding me that my trip to Spain was His gift. That I am loved. I briefly closed my eyes and when I opened them I saw Spain in a new light.

You see, we all have the ability to accept and deal with disappointments, delays and negativity through the grace given to us by God. We have the freedom to choose how we respond to every situation. And if we tell ourselves each time that God's good, pleasing and perfect plan for us are not thwarted by delays and disappointments then we can seek Him and ask for strength, peace and joy to remain calm in the midst of crisis. During those challenging and oftentimes painful circumstances that involve finances, diseases and broken relationships, look for the little blessings that are often taken for granted. They are God's way of reminding us that He is always with us and He is getting us through. Just like when I had that sumptuous lunch, the name plate, the cleaning lady with her needle and thread, my friend Marlon (who probably wanted to slap me hard but remained cheerful and patient with me), the view, the breeze and simply being healthy enough and have the resources to travel.

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. - Isaiah 41:13