It's that time of the year when "taklesa questions and hirits" overflow. I therefore repost this note which I wrote way back December 2010 for the benefit of those people who utter and ask questions which no one can answer. For example: When are you getting married? My answer usually goes like this: "I honestly don't know. When God tells me when and whom i'm supposed to marry then I will personally announce it on Facebook and tag you." But in my mind I always say: "I have no idea and just in case, you're not invited to my wedding anyway so why bother asking?"
You see, I do have dreams of getting married and having a family of my own but I don't obsess about it. Even if I am called to be single for the rest of my life, at this point in time I could honestly say that I AM OK WITH THAT. For those having problems accepting that well you just have to suck it up ;-)
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. - Song of Solomon 8:4
Are you ready to read what I've written 4 years ago? Here goes...
Disclaimer: If you are single and desperate to get married, read on...
If you are single and happy, read on...
If you are married and unhappy, read on...
If you are married and happy, Praise the Lord! This blog is not for you but read on...
A family friend kept insisting on exercising her matchmaking skills on me. In Chinese we call it “kai siao.” I really don’t take these things seriously but this particular person kind of got into my nerves because all she wants to talk about when she sees me is my past love life and my future love life. So one time, I had to put a stop to this nonsense. When she started her usual dialogue, I immediately said: I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH MY BEING SINGLE BUT APPARENTLY YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT. YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT? That was the last time she ever mentioned the word “kai siao” to me.
I get these a lot and I bet all you single men and women have in one way or another encountered similar situations:
“I’m praying that you will get married soon.” - Thank you ha for the prayers!!! Mas effective siguro if you ask me first anong prayer request ko.
“Si ________ kinasal na. Ikaw kelan ka ikakasal?” - Baket kelangan ba sabay sabay tayong lahat ikasal? Tanong ko lang ha kasi kung ganon mag aalala na ako baka abnormal ako!
“I’m really praying that you will find your special someone so you can be complete and happy.” - Last time I checked, complete ako. Kumpleto at maganda katawan ko. Buo ang puso’t pagkatao ko. Matino utak ko at may LIFE ako. Suitors ko kasing haba ng pila sa ATM pag sweldo pero wala akong gusto. But then again, thank you for reminding me that I lack one more thing to complete the puzzle because I never noticed that I was missing a piece.
"What happened to your ex?" - My usual answer: Sino sa kanila? It didn't work out. Shit happens...
ETO THE BEST! “Wala pa? Naku Che ha baka ikaw na may problema!” - I replied: OO siguro nga po kasi career oriented ako (thinking: at fabulous life ko)
Funny huh?
Kidding aside, if only single people learn to wait upon the Lord and allow Him to use us for his purpose, we will be at peace and joyful. We can appreciate the blessings He has given us in every season of our lives. There wouldn’t be failed marriages. There will be a sanctified union through marriage in God’s perfect time and children will be protected from the pain of broken homes.
Quoting from my sister-in-law Melissa Tipoe’s blog:
Dating and Waiting by William Risk
Sharing with you some of the book's highlights:
p.66 “Do we focus on what God hasn’t given us and neglect what He has given us?”
- If we do, we will miss out on a lot of God’s other blessings. Each season deserves our attention.
p. 75 “..when finding someone to marry becomes more important than being obedient to God, when the desire to become a couple overrides the commitment to treat one another as brother and sister in the Lord, when self-esteem is being derived not from one’s position in Christ but from whether or not one is dating – then something is wrong. The problem is not so much with the desire for marriage but with the priority one places upon it and the methods one uses to achieve it.
p. 77 “The stresses of singleness can often expose the shallow foundations of our own spiritual lives. When we are faced with not getting what we want or not getting it when we want it, then we see whether the faith that we profess is built on rock or sand.
P. 81 “Making holy choices often means making hard choices. Sometimes obedience means giving up something greatly desired, perhaps without understanding why.”
- Ouch!
p. 88 “We obey not because we hope to gain from it, but because it is the proper response of a heart that trusts God.”
p. 162 “Unless we see that truth (that Christ is worth infinitely more), unless we learn to ascribe value by God’s standards, we cannot appreciate anything as God intended it.
p. 163 “Sometimes we convince ourselves that even though we can’t get it for ourselves, maybe God will work a miracle and provide it. But can we go further and trust that if He refuses to provide something, it must be for our best, and then let it go? Can we believe that every denial is an invitation to an even greater blessing?”
p. 177 “The only way for our hearts to catch up with our heads is for us to step out in faith, acting on the basis of our understanding regardless of our feelings, and trust God to close the gap.”
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